Submitted by: John Sammon

These people are patriots—they’re pathfinders—-Argonauts—–they’re MORONS!

This is how stupid teabag Republicans are. Remember, these are the people who want to run this country.

They’re so stupid, so inept; they can’t even pick an appropriate symbol to represent themselves. If they ever opened a history book, and countless times in the past I’ve noted on this website how most conservatives don’t even have the most basic fundamental understanding of their own history. If they were able to interpret history, which they clearly can’t, they wouldn’t pick the Boston Tea Party. Of all the symbols they could pick that have at least a shred of heroism, for example, the opening hostilities of Concord Bridge, or Washington’s gentlemanly conduct toward a defeated British commander at Yorktown, or the Battle of Bunker Hill (actually Breeds Hill).

No. Of all the possibilities, these impotent cretins choose the Boston Tea Party, one of the thoroughly disreputable incidents prior to the American Revolution. Most people with a semi-education have heard the story. A group of disgruntled colonists, upset (rightfully) with British imperial high-handedness, protesting onerous taxes, boarded a ship in Boston Harbor carrying tea from England. Dressed as American Indians, they dumped the tea in the harbor.

To start with, this was a blatant act of vandalism of private property. The right-wing of today misleadingly claims to be the sole champions of private property rights.

Secondly, it was nothing less than a cowardly act. A mob of morons attacked a largely undefended ship in Boston Harbor. But more so, it was also racist. The colonials disguised themselves as Indians, trying to put the blame on unfortunate Native Americans for the ridiculous crime, the same people they (the colonials) were soon to annihilate. Often enough, during the 18th and 19th centuries, entire villages of Native Americans, men, women and children, or the closest random nearby tribe, were sometimes incinerated on the mere suspicion they had committed a hostile act.

The culprit patriots in the Boston Tea Party, like today’s teabaggers, obviously lacked even the skill to successfully pull off a second rate robbery of a convenience store with an elderly lady for a clerk. You had to be a real genius to figure people would buy this sham. Apparently, people at the time were supposed to swallow the idea that Indians boarded a ship sitting at anchor on an urbanized waterfront in the middle of the night to take their hostility out on boxes of English tea.

Real smart plan. There were more intelligent ways to protest taxes.

The only other incident as disgraceful as the Tea Party was the Boston Massacre, where a drunken mob of reprobates threatened English troops who opened fire on them. Though the propaganda at the time tried to portray the mob as victims, John Adams, one of the Founding Fathers and later president, represented the British troops as their attorney, and proved the mob was at fault. The troops had a right to defend themselves.

THE TEABAGGERS OF TODAY ARE SO GODDAMNED STUPID THEY THINK THE BOSTON TEA PARTY WAS A HEROIC ACTION.

In a way it’s ironic, because the Tea Party, symbolizing as it does vandalism, racism, outright theft and cowardice, does accurately reflect the teabaggers of today, often intolerant and illiterate hay kickers who go to town hall meetings to heckle anyone with whom they disagree. It also represents how false propaganda and twisting history have shaped our lordly opinion of ourselves. For example, the Nazi extermination of Europe’s Jews is called The Holocaust. Our extermination of our Native American people because they were in the way, this is called, The Winning of the West.

We just killed a half million Iraqis on false pretenses, and have the gall to call it “freedom.”

Today’s teabaggers and the Boston Tea Party so-called patriots do have similarities, but not in the way the teabaggers are intelligent or honest enough to admit or understand.

About the Author: John Sammon is the author of two novels and writes a weekly humor-politics column you may access at

Sammonsays.com

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